extraordinary imperfection

I’m a Weight Watcher!

nikithechild — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 13:45:39 +0000

Okay, so I’m very happy to report that I have lost 6 pounds in 2.5 weeks thanks to Weight Watchers! I’m not officially a member, a coworker taught me how to count my points and gave me some tips to succeed. I have been counting my points and still able to eat what I want, but in reasonable amounts. I think what was getting me, was during the week, I wouldn’t eat enough, and then on the weekends I would overeat and would gain as a result.

Ever since I moved to FL three years ago, I have slowly gained and was my highest just shy of 180 lbs. My lowest was when I was 21 (of course) at 136 lbs, and on my wedding day I weighed about 150. I’d like to first get down to my wedding day weight and then work towards getting back into my normal BMI range which is 120-140 lbs. So if I could ultimately get down to 135, I would be really happy!

Even just the six pounds I’ve lost so far, I feel my clothes are looser, and the ladies at work have noticed that my face looks thinner. I feel lighter on my toes and the biggest difference I can see is that when I look at my profile in the mirror, my stomach doesn’t stick out as far as my chest, and that is a huge accomplishment! I could lose more quickly if I work out as well, which I normally do, and will start up again. I was on a 2 week hiatus from working out because of a knee injury during a bike ride with Eric a few weekends ago.

Anyway, I feel great – mentally and physically – and I can’t wait to continue to slim down and feel good about myself and the way I look and feel. Did I mention that my migraines and most body pains have disappeared?!?! I was convinced I had Fibromyalgia, but now I am thinking I was just not taking care of my body. I am, for the first time in a long time, pain free. That to me is way more amazing than the weight loss.

2010 is so 2010

nikithechild — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 23:22:27 +0000

Thank the universe that 2010 is over. Although, I despise New Year’s Eve, I am happy to wrap up this year and start a new one.

Without getting into to much detail, I feel stronger and happier than I did in years past. As always, I am looking into the future for new adventures and opportunities. 2011, I welcome you with open arms!

8/20/10

nikithechild — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 21:42:23 +0000

Today is my mother’s birthday! I won’t get a chance to see her today but I will soon. I know she will enjoy herself. I wish I could give her a big hug.

I was having a bit of a rough day today, being alone with my thoughts and all. I feel like my friends back in Illinois have forgotten about me and it’s not a pretty feeling to feel like you don’t matter anymore. I’m sure I’ve made them feel this way over the past 2.5 years and can only hope that this is not a permanent feeling/situation.

In other news, the chiropractor believes that I may have Fibromyalgia. I Googled it. I have a lot, I repeat, A LOT of the related symptoms/characteristics- depression, TMJD, brain fog, weakness, numbness and tingling in my toes, GI issues. I’m no doctor but the only one I trust to give this diagnosis can’t see me (she’s about 1500 miles away). Not feeling too hot right about now.

And speaking of hot, this weather is seriously cooking my brain. I can not wait until it cools off a bit. I am so sick of being hot. It’s really pissing me off.

I refuse to leave this post on an angry note so I will say that I sold something on eBay recently and I am excited about getting rid of little trinkets all throughout the house. Also, my dad got me a web cam for the laptop so I can Skype now.

No ‘Poo Movement

nikithechild — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 17:28:56 +0000

Although it sounds a bit strange, I have joined the No ‘Poo Movement. It has nothing to do with bowel movements and all to do with clean hair and the social movement of environmentalism. For those of you that are wondering how I am doing this, read BabySlime’s blog.

Before my hair was:

limp
oily after 20 hours
lost huge clumps of it in the shower every day

Right now, I am in week 2 of the detox phase. So far, here are my results:

full, thick
a little oily near the roots
little to no hair loss in the shower

I am going to continue this no ‘poo method for another week or so and evaluate the condition of my hair once I am out of the detox phase. Some of the other pluses include: less money spent on shampoos, conditioners, and decreased water usage.

I’ll update the status of my hair in another week or so!

The Summer of My Discontent

nikithechild — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 19:56:40 +0000

It has been a rough summer to say the least. One of the most recent blows I’ve encountered was being let go at the spa. It was my prime bread and butter and I really enjoyed working there. Saying that I was bummed to find this out is a gross understatement. What can I do? Sure I can sulk and curse the world but what good would that do me? I’m actually surprised at how determined I am now that I do not have a steady income. I have diligently come up with a plan for my immediate future. I will continue to look for a position in the professional world, but I will revisit my side businesses. My entrepreneurial spirit is smiling at the opportunity to have more time to spend creating and selling. Adversity is what makes life interesting I guess.

I went to my first ever Chiropractor appointment on Friday, moments after being relieved of my position at the spa. Maybe it was all of the endorphins in my system from being adjusted but I haven’t been this happy in a while and I’m okay with things the way there are right now. Financially, I’m trying not to be worried. I always have a habit of looking at the worst case scenario and I think this time around, I have just given up on my pessimism. Money comes and goes, and even if I made loads of it, I wouldn’t be any better off to be honest. People who have more money than I do tend to have more responsibilities, more stress, and less emotional contentment.

I’m not upset; I’m not worried; I’m driven, determined, and excited.

New Family Member!

nikithechild — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 18:29:05 +0000

I don't have a name yet!

So I got this guy from the nursery yesterday. I believe it is a boy and I think he is about 6-8 weeks old. My boss found him under his wife’s car. He is a little shy at first and gets scared by loud noises and big movements so I thought it would be a good idea to rescue him from the chaos at the nursery. Chanchi met him briefly and is not used to him yet, but in time I’m sure the two of them will become good companions. I think their personalities are pretty similar so that might be good too.

For now though, I’m keeping him in a separate room until he has had his kitten shots and tests including the FIV vaccine. Chanchi was here first so his health and welfare is first in my book. I’m crossing my fingers that they will come to like having each other around.

There was another kitten found at the nursery as well, but she seems to enjoy the chaos of the nursery and even though I wish I could take home both of them, I think it would be too much for Chanchi to handle. After all, he is an old man at 14 years old. I also did not think Eric would let me bring him home, but he finally caved after weeks and weeks of relentless begging. So, many thanks to Eric for giving this little one a good home to grow up in.

When I brought him home, he pooped in my hand in the car (yay!) and then hid himself in a crazy tight space between the bathroom cabinet and the wall. I couldn’t find him anywhere and my neighbor John finally found him and tried to coerce him out with some bacon and string. He stayed put so I finally ripped a piece of the cabinet away until I could reach him. He is a little escape artist.

So, the adventure has only just begun, and yet I already have a ton of stories to tell! I’ll keep everyone posted on his progress.

Fast Forward

nikithechild — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 16:50:45 +0000

I really think that the foods that I eat affect my moods. When I eat bad junk food and chocolate and caffeine I get really moody. But when I eat naturally healthy foods and stay away from chocolate and caffeine, I don’t get anxious or depressed. Hmmm, food for thought I guess.

School is really great for me right now, it is giving me a purpose and I am really enjoying the challenge of it. I think I have been missing that in my life since I finished my AA.

I am always looking to the future, I want to be, I will be, I know that this will happen… It’s hard for me to be present and live in the present. I am not really sure how to do that. I guess I’ve always lived in fast-forward. I need to learn how to live in the present because if I don’t, I’ll probably become a crotchety old hag who never ENJOYED herself.

Working hard…

nikithechild — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:59:03 +0000

I’ve been really busy lately working on numerous things. I am working two jobs, which I hope is not a long term path for me. I am putting myself through school and that takes up any left over time that I’m not working or traveling to and from my two jobs. Having my mom in town has been great. I love spending time with her. When people come to visit from “up north” it makes me a little homesick, but I have been controlling my urges to be a Florida hater lately.

Eric and I share the one car now so it’s been difficult getting around to my two jobs, his job, my school (which currently I’m taking online to help out with this issue) and running errands. Hopefully in the near future, I can get a more stable job in my career field (property, property management, real estate). If i can get benefits and a little more in my paychecks, then I can think about getting a car that we desperately need.

In other news, this weather has been so brutal this year. Our winter was way below the average for chilly nights, killing everyone’s landscaping. This summer so far has been above the average temperature and humidity level so it feels like late August when it really should feel more like May. Ugh. Just grateful to have air conditioning I guess.

Dream Journal Entry

nikithechild — Mon, 17 May 2010 13:26:12 +0000

Okay so I often have very strange dreams, and I keep telling myself to write them down because one day it’ll be wonderful to look back at all the crazy dreams I’ve had. I had this one last night and it’s still fresh in my mind:

I was at school with Carrie and she brought out this huge whip (not like a play whip, like an Indiana Jones whip) and started ferociously whipping these pigs and sheep that were in pens in the middle of the room. I got so upset with her that I did not talk to her for like a week. Then, we were in the same class and she sat down at a table and wrote me a message on LJ from her laptop. I sat down across from her, Battleship style, and busted out my laptop and wrote her back. We basically had a 20 min. silent online fight in front of each other without ever making contact. I woke up. WTF?

Sunday morning I woke up with this one fresh in my memory:

I was back in Park Ridge and living at my childhood home and my brother Phil was dressed up like a clown with big black shiny dreadlocks. He and I were standing out in the driveway close to the curb where he used to park his ’88 Escort. It was dark out, because the moonlight was blocked out by all the huge oak trees. We saw a car slowly approaching and realized a little too late that there were hit men in the car. We ran towards the house and got separated. I called 911 as I ran and told them what was going on. All I could think about is if Phil and Michael were okay. I ran to an abandoned house across the street to the upstairs bedroom. One hit man followed me and cornered me between the wall and the bed. He stuck a gun to my stomach and said threatening things to me. The police came in and surprised him. He grabbed me as a human shield and the cop took a shot at the man’s head. He missed but the hit man threw his arms up and surrendered. I jumped over the bed and into the arms of the police. I woke up.

Gotta love dreams!

Eh…

nikithechild — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 13:53:40 +0000

I haven’t posted in a while, so here is an update:

I work at a spa that doesn’t pay me enough (my life story) but I love working there. I’m going to school to better myself. I am trying/struggling to enjoy life down here in Florida. I am underwater with some debt. I miss my Meeko baby.

I need to stop the self pity. Nothing will change unless I do something, so just wake up and do it. Change things- change your outlook, change your situation.

I live inside my head and I need to let myself enjoy life every now and then. Eh… Such a struggle. I’m determined to get better. I will.